So, I am a mum of two boys, I think that we already established that?

We have some very random conversations at times which I am sure many of you can relate to.
Things from how those cards in your wallet get swiped and then whatever you want is yours to about how I have boobies, and when will they get boobies? Why won’t they get boobies like mummy has? That is not fair!!! They want boobies!

These boys are both the sort of kids that DEMAND the reality, the truth. They won’t allow you to fob them off with a nonsensical answer about how the Great Wall of China was built to keep out the rabbits. So, it has forced us, as parents, to deal in truth only. Of course, the dosage of truth is metered out, in fact, its controlled by the questioner, forcing them to ask more and better questions if they are not satisfied with the portion we have given them. Even through to Santa, and if he is real.
The answer is the whole truth – “Santa only comes to those kids who believe in him.”
I have found you tube video footage of macrophages engulfing bacterium in phagocytosis to explain how infection is dealt with the body and Dear Hubby has found himself rigging up science experiment with lemons and other fandangled stuff to explain electricity or some such magical notions. These lengths have been demanded of us by the two Masters, and the quality assurance process is rigorous.

So, when Master 7 was asking me last year why I sat down on the toilet ALL the time, I knew that I was in for it……………

Mummy, why do you need to sit down all the time on the toilet?
– Because I am a girl and girls sit down on the toilet.
Do you have a doodle/ penis?
– No, I am a girl and we have a vagina or a fanny.
So, how do you wee?
– Like I said, we sit down and the wee comes out, just like it does for you.
But HOW mummy, you don’t have a doodle?
– That is because I am a girl.
Can you show me how you wee?
– No! Now its time to let mummy wee in peace, shut the bathroom door behind you.

This conversation has gone on and on, over a year, and with both of the boys asking me in different ways.
To the point where my boys have demanded a demonstration, to prove that I could wee whilst sitting down.
Needless to say, they didn’t get one. Well beyond the usual of passing urine being a spectator sport in our house anyway!