My loving, caring, devoted husband sat me down last week whilst we were having a reasonable and rational discussion (?argument?) about something else and told me;
” I knew when I met you that you were not a good housewife. I knew that then, and I know it now. You, as a housewife, are a low achiever.”
Initially I was offended, hurt, confused, and perhaps a little murderous.
And then I smiled, nodded and agreed.
I AM a dud housewife. I have hinted at this failure previously in other posts and in person, if you are lucky enough to have shared a coffee with me.
My husband is right. I am good at many things, great at many more but I have no passion for house wifing.
In fact, I could be classified as a dud of a housewife.
Does this matter?
My kids are loved, clothed, educated and fed.
My house gets clean, nutritious (mostly) meals are eaten, pets are cared for and bills are paid. Not all of these duties are performed by me.
It used to bother me greatly if I wasn’t considered to be a good housewife, even when I measured myself against other women or men and knew, in my heart, I came up short.
And it is not that I don’t know HOW to be better at those duties, it is that I don’t really care too much. I love a clean and tidy house and pantry and the beast inside me with OCD finally sleeps when we do a big clean and the house and all that dwell within it are clean, tidy, organised, folded and packed away – for the 3.82 seconds that it lasts.
I know that I am time poor – that disposable time that is not already allocated to something or someone else. And I rank exercise above housework as well.
What am I doing instead of being an awesome house wife?
Well, I am enjoying the meals that my hubby prepares most nights. I do clean up after, as I cannot stand a dirty kitchen. I admit that I insist on a clean and tidy kitchen, but that if you want to use the bathroom, you may need to ‘courtesy flush.’
I am doing my share of the housework and telling my hubby that my share is bigger than his share, and he simply has to mop, because I can’t (won’t).
I am in charge of all health care decisions, including the animals. I make almost all logistical decisions around care of kids, social events. I occasionally get my baking or cooking mojo on, but it is packet style mixes, maybe slow cooker or a roast, with a standard recipe, that is foolproof. I don’t pin cleaning tips, and I am a big believer in warm soapy water as a cleaning agent.
Hubby does the bathrooms and the oven. He also mops.
Running the house is a real team effort in my family, not a one man marathon.
I used to feel bad about it, but I am much more at peace with it, and myself now. I cannot be all things to all people, and I am not able to work full-time and do all the things I do AND have the perfect house. So you are welcome to visit, but leave your judgement outside thanks.
Dear hubby did point out –
“I do not love you because I needed someone who is a good housewife, I can hire a cleaner for that.
I love you for all the other things you do so well.”
That, my dear reader, is why he is still alive to tell the tale 🙂