I think that I’ve talked about the toileting dilemma in my new work place before: http://wp.me/p3vDcr-fK
Well today, I took poo problems to a whole new level.

I had just started shift and we were getting organised for the day. Then I needed to go to the toilet. Etiquette dictates at our new work place that Number 1s are OK in the ‘in house’ toilet, but due to the paper-thin walls and proximity of the staff toilet to everything else, Number 2s are certainly not welcome.

So I told my workmates that I was off, up the corridor to the public access toilets in the building.
All was peaceful, as I went about improving my outlook on life. I prefer the cubicle at the far end of the toilet block.

Then the door to the public toilet smashed open and in barged an irate, aggravated woman who stormed into a cubicle, swearing and ranting about her male companion. I was mentally thinking, “Oh great, well I might make a quick exit here.” When I heard the door slam open and in walked a BLOKE!! Equally irate an aggressive, wanting to speak to the woman.

A full-blown verbally violent scene erupted in the cubicle beside me with profanity, threats, slamming of doors and the like feeling like it would bust through the walls and swallow me.
I was trapped. And worse than that, i had not pulled my pants back up yet and now was too scared to make a bloody noise, in case this pair of clowns turned on me.

So, I texted my work colleagues:
“I’m in the toilet and there is a distressed aggravated lady in the next cubicle. Yelling, crying and…….NOW THERE IS A BLOKE IN HERE.”
” He keeps walking out and back in. She is distressed and I can’t leave the cubicle”
“I’m safe in here for now, but stuck.”

My colleagues answered my call to arms, and just as they arrived, I heard the bloke say that there were police on the way and he was leaving. I stayed put, not knowing where he was, what she was doing, whether it was safe to leave, until my colleague stuck her head in the door and gave me the all clear.

Once I was out, and safe, I needed to go back in – to make sure the woman was OK (the joys of Duty of Care)

Then the police arrived.
I was so shaken by now, the adrenalin was surging.
Apparently I started my statement with, “I went up to this toilet to do a poo……..”

Seriously, once the shock died off, I found it as hilarious as everyone else did, but for a second there I thought I might meet my end with my arse bare and my pants around my ankles, in a toilet cubicle. Not quite the dignity and grace that I like to think that I can carry off.
Stuck in a toilet