I am an awesome mum and I nail it, every time.

There is nothing I cannot achieve:

  • like signing every note within 48 hours of receiving it – nailed it.

(Don’t ask why they are still on the fridge though, weeks after the event)

  • Making sandwiches that the boys requested dammit, crusts cut off and all.

(Don’t ask why my eldest comes home starving and cannot recall what was on his sandwich – it may be that he throws them in the bin, untouched)

  • Bleaching the white school shirts that the primary school insist on the kids wearing.

(Don’t ask about the holes in the knees of the long pants that are part of the uniform)

Bonus points – (Don’t ask when the last time was that I bleached them.)

Trifecta ( Don’t ask how the navy blue long pants now look like they were bleached by accident and rendered unwearable.)

  • Encouraging my boys to try new foods, especially my eldest whose fussiness is world renowned.

(Don’t ask about why I get the screaming shits when they do try something, like it and it was previously a sacred favourite food of mine – like licorice – and now I have to share it!)

  • Teaching my boys new things, and answering all questions in an age appropriate but entirely truthful manner – nailing it.

(Don’t ask me about when I swear in front of them or laugh at their use of completely contextually appropriate wordage that would shock the socks of a nun)

  • I respect my eldest boys need for privacy by enforcing that his younger brother does not shower with him any more.
    (Don’t ask me why I can get home readers done and sort out all sorts of day-to-day dramas whilst I am in the toilet, in the shower, looking for undies in my room)

This parenting gig – I have got it covered!