I have spent the last 2 weeks without my boys.
The boys are up north with their grandparents in a kind of shared custody arrangement – having a fat (or is it phat? Does the fact that I have to ask render it redundant?) time with both sets of Nannies and Poppies.
It beats vacation care and the boys and the grandparents get to spend some time together without the boys parents (us) getting in the way.
For my parents , the boys are their only grand kids, so I am extremely conscious of this and the fact that we are now 1000kms away.
My in laws have 8 grandkids and they are scattered up and down the coast, some are in town and some are nearly as far away as ours.
Nonetheless the boys enjoy both sets of grandparents.
It has been hard having them gone – I miss them and after discussions with DH, we miss our kids in different ways.
For him it feels like his mates are gone, for me it feels like a bit of me is missing.
What we have focused on though is the positives – we have worked really hard at some quality time with each other, reminding ourselves what it is like to be with each other without needing to consider the kids, and also covertly clearing out each boys rooms of clothes and toys to go to charity!
It has been nice to sleep in, and not to think too much about dinners, breakfasts, washing.
It has been nice to break the routine up.
It has been nice to watch TV that is not PG whenever we want – catching up on movies etc.
It has been nice to speak with DH, without it being about logistics, kid related topics etc.
I have spoken much about my lack of free/ disposable time, and my art of using quality not quantity when it comes to time. Well this fortnight I have been using quality time with DH and it feels wonderful.
I miss my boys like a missing lung – I still breathe, but not as well as I do with 2 lungs ( I think that may be a shit metaphor but I am running with it!) but it has been wonderful to have some time where I know they are safe, happy and loved, and be able to dip my toes back into what life was like without them. Just me and he.
When this is published they will have been back for 2 days – and I will be rejoicing in their return. But I am supremely reassured that when you take away the boys (which are the centre of our universe) that the 2 remaining planets still have a gravitational pull to each other.