I have been going through a trying period professionally over the last 12 months or so.
Details are not required (public forum and all that) but lets remember that just because something is the RIGHT thing to do, does not mean it is the EASY thing to do. Subsequently, a few of the Brave Girl posts have been triggered by events that I have living through.
The problem in my profession and many other public service professions is this:
– to do an exemplary job, you need to feel valued and connected and challenged and significant and that you are making a contribution as a important level. And due to circumstances beyond my control, I have been hobbled and muzzled – able to turn up but not fully allowed to run and jump and twist and turn – not able to fulfill my potential. On top of that, the insecurity that comes with being a catalyst for a tsunami – it becomes even harder to perform at a level I would be satisfied with. None of this is directly anyones fault – just the consequences of actions that I knowingly took.
Anyway, I looked for a new challenge and suddenly found one. A change is as good a a holiday and an opportunity came up.
I am going to work temporarily in a department I have never worked in, in a hospital I have never worked in, with people I have never worked with, in a role I have never performed before.
It is so foreign that I am not sure what success or failure look like.
No big deal. Eerily similar to when I moved the whole family 1000km away to take this role up here 4 years ago and see if I liked it.
In a way I am excited – a chance to change perspectives, shake things up, step into the fear and beat it.
And in a bigger way I am terrified.
But I need to do this. I need to shake off the burdens of the last 12 months and see how I perform outside of this sphere. So some time on the outside is just what the doctor ordered. And I hope it will give me fresh eyes, and a dust off.
So, as I seem to have said often before – Here goes nothing!