What a year it’s been. Huge things – from a health scares for the youngest Master, DH finishing Uni and I starting it, job changes and decisions, the boys sport flourishing and both Masters have achieved great things this year personally and at school.

The last 6 months have been tough on me with starting Uni again and a brand new job doing a role I’ve never done before in one of the highest demand winters. I’ve weathered all things reasonably well without feeling anything other than what I surmise is normal or expected stressors.

However at the time of writing this post (November) I feel that hyena of anxiety harrying my ankles.

It’s a palpable chest tightness and nausea, with symptomatic increase in resting heart rate, irritability, shorty sleep and currently a fragility and apparently loss of resilience, which particularly sucks when you are a grown up and in leadership roles.

I know it is temporary, situational, not harmful and I have all the tools I need to manage and monitor it, but it’s been under control for so long that I’m really resentful it’s back. I was enjoying having a baseline like everyone else.

So I’ll switch it, and if the self management measures don’t help l, then I will escalate more urgently. I’m all covered. Thank goodness because I’d hate to anxious about THAT too.

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